how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
