does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
