Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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