Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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