i permit you to call me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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