The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
