it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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