I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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