He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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