Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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