If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
