there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
