So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
