okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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