long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
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dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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