I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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