Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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