Everything about him screamed your future.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
