He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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