even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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