her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
