hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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