hotel room ftw
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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