He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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