When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
