My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
