I want to have your abortion
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
