he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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