i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
