that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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