sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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