so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
