Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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