you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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