In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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