I cockslap morals
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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