Just cropdusted the office
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
