you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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