i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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