well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
