she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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