btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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