i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
