it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
