As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
