6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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