Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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