Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
