Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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