yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
