so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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