I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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