i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
