these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
