Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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