we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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